1/ Plugged In: The Science of Becoming Player 1 in Your Life
“Life is far too precious to sit there pressing buttons on a controller that is not even connected.”
When I was little, my brother would play PlayStation games and I would sit next to him, happily holding the second controller. What I didn’t realise is that the controller was never even plugged in, but I felt completely part of it all the same. I pressed all the buttons with such conviction, so sure I was making things happen on the screen, but really, I was just along for the ride.
It makes me laugh looking back, but it also shows how early we learn to do this in life. We play along. We follow the script. We act as if we are choosing, when in truth we are not holding the controls at all. Without even realising, we become Player 2 in our own lives.
So many of us carry this pattern into adulthood. We say yes when we mean no. We take the path we feel we “should” rather than the one that lights us up. We react to other people’s choices instead of making our own. And slowly, we keep handing the controller over to people outside of ourselves.
This is where the science gets fascinating. When we are in “Player 2 mode”, it is usually the amygdala that is running the show. That is the part of the brain wired for survival, scanning for danger, repeating what feels safe and familiar. It keeps us looping the same level again and again. Predictable, yes. But also limiting.
When you step out of autopilot and make a conscious decision, even something small, like speaking up when you would normally stay quiet, the prefrontal cortex lights up. This part of the brain is all about planning, creativity and choice. It is the moment you take back the controller. It is you becoming Player 1.
Being Player 1 doesn’t mean you suddenly breeze through life or win every challenge. It simply means you are the one actually playing. You set the pace. You choose the journey. You pause when you need to. And that in itself changes everything.
The beautiful part is that every time you make a choice that is genuinely yours, your brain rewards you. Dopamine (the brain’s “feel good” chemical) is released, creating that spark of this is me.
So here is my reminder to you: notice whose hands are on the controller. Are you plugged in as Player 1? Or have you slipped into Player 2 without even realising?
Because life is far too precious to sit there pressing buttons on a controller that is not even connected.
